go ahead and risk it all

ph: Marija Strajnic

Exactly summer of last year, we were happy. It's been one year and three months since we unofficially became official. We started out as friends, and nothing else. We chatted from time to time till we got each others' numbers. We met through our good friends, honestly I even told my friend that I had a feeling i would have a fling with this guy, but boy was i wrong.

I fell madly and deeply in love with him, you can call it cliche, but it's what happened. The way we'd talk every single day, how he`d notice every little thing I do or say. His hugs, that I never want to let go of, the way he would just listen as I randomly tell him about my life. How he was so patient when I was already pushing him away. I was starting to fall, but I've always been the type of person who was afraid of relationships because I've seen love die way too many times. So I tried to push him away, but he kept coming back. Everybody was telling me I was crazy, because they all knew that he felt the same way too.

It came to a point where I broke down my barriers and let him in, but it wasn't easy because we were both two complicated people, when I wanted let him in, he started pushing me away, and vice versa. I knew why he was doing it, he was confused as I was. Till it came to a point when our first kiss happened, it wasn't intentional we were making fun of each other and then all of a sudden it happened, we were both a little bit surprised because we were still unsure of what we were, if we were actually a couple or not. But then he held my hand, and someone asked me if we were together, I immediately said no. He remained quiet. So the pushing and pulling away in our relationship continued, until it came to a point that we just couldn't work it out anymore, I know I loved him, and still do actually. I've never met a boy who's more patient to me than him, I couldn't blame him for letting go, I think I pushed him too hard that he had no choice but to just give up. And I've been regretting that ever since.

So to everybody who reads my story; don't take things for granted because you will really regret it. Follow your heart, and take the fall. If you think he/she is worth it, go ahead and risk it all. Because once that person is sick and tired of all your games believe me they'll give up even if they don't want to. No couple breaks up and remains just friends, it's either they were never really in love or it's really just a once in a blue moon kind of thing. Don't repeat the same mistakes I did, because the feeling of regret will stay with you forever. If I had one more chance, believe me I would be as patient as he was with me, but having another chance with him I know is a miracle. So to everyone out there, love the one you're with, don't take them for granted. Especially if they keep up with your mood swings, random babblings, being too immature and everything else, those are the ones you should definitely keep fighting for. It's true when they say you never realize how much a person truly means until they're gone.